It occurred to me, moments ago, that we struggle so hard and it’s often for nought.

I’m a bit of a baby whisperer, when it comes to nap time, and I, just moments ago, had my skills on display. And you missed it.

I’ve raised three kids, and I have three nieces and a nephew, so over the course of the last fifteen years or so, I’ve had lots of opportunities to convince toddlers and newborns that it’s time for their nap.

If you’ve ever been a part of that particular battle, you understand how it works. The convincing and conniving, the bargaining and the begging, the “I’m not tired”, followed by the trip to dreamland.

My wife and I, as we were raising our kids, understood our roles in this particular game quite well. Often times, she was the starting pitcher, who would start off the game and carry on as far into the innings as was possible, but there always comes the point in the game when you call in your closer.

That was me.

The children who fight the nap the hardest are sometimes the most tired, while others fight the nap for mere seconds before giving up the fight and caving in.

And –I’m a little ashamed to say this– I prefer to use the strong but gentle approach: holding the fighting, crying child securely in my arms until they became convinced that 1) their fight was futile, and 2) they really were getting tired. Gently patting their backs or their bottoms, shushing them quietly and rhythmically with the sound of my whispering voice, sometimes rocking them back and forth to get them to nod off.

If this approach sounds wrong, then I’m wrong, but I will once again point to my track record.

The interesting part of this whole recollection is this –> it’s often obvious to everyone except the child that they are tired and in need of a nap. And they fight it so valiantly, as if having to take a nap was the greatest of the crimes of society against the smallest among us.

Don’t even get me started on how toddlers fight naps and adults would often kill for one.

* * *

I knew, just a few moments ago, that my niece needed a nap –> I could tell because her mom told me when should would probably need one, but I also knew just by watching her eyes droop and her head bobbing, down and then back up.

So, I took her in my arms, and she fought. I knew how it was going to end, and she did fight with valor for several minutes. But, the baby whisperer –the closing pitcher who is brought in to seal the victory– won once again.

And the whole process, which I’ve been through hundreds of times, has me thinking about life and our futile struggles.

I wonder how often we get ourselves worked up about things that can’t be helped, things that are inevitable, and how many times, when we have the opportunity to accept, with a measure of composure and tranquility, the events of life that are inexorable, do we instead rail against what is coming. Rather than focusing on the way that we react to the circumstances of life, we get all hot and bothered about every twist and turn in the road.

If you’ve ever wondered at all about Buddhism, like I have, you may want to look into their belief system a little bit, especially when it comes to the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. Now, I would never suggest that someone become a Buddhist, since I am a Christian, but I do believe that there is truth to be found in Buddhist beliefs and that all truth is God’s Truth.

The Four Noble Truths involve the suffering that exists in the world, and –more specifically– how our own ignorance and desires cause us to experience more suffering than what is actually necessary on the journey through life. The Noble Eightfold Path is a series of steps that a person can take to make suffering easier to manage, or even avoid altogether.

Like the toddler who, rather than accepting the inevitability of nap time and just coming to terms with it, opposes nap time and seeks to resist nap time and becomes consumed by their suffering during nap time, we are all subject to circumstances that could easily “get a rise” out of us.

But we chose to react to these circumstances. We chose to allow what’s going on in the world around us to dictate how we feel and to what extent we are able to be happy in the present moments of our lives.

And if it’s not the events of the world, it’s the people in it, who get under our skin. They say things and we lose our entire ability to control what we think about them and how badly we want to talk back to them and what we’d do to them, if no one was looking.

We chose to let those people dictate our thoughts and behaviors. In effect, we give them control over how we feel and what we say and do. I’d say that they rob us of our happiness, but it’s not even robbery, we give our happiness to them willingly.

* * *

I’ve heard the phrase a lot lately: the struggle is real. In fact, a quick Google search of the phrase gave me more memes than I could shake a stick at –> geesh!

But, the more I stop to think about it, I’m not sure that the struggle is real.

If we just accepted the circumstances of life with some humility and grace and serenity, we would get less worked up all the time.

The belief that we are constantly in the midst of some set of circumstances that should cause us to be outraged and alarmed is, more often than not, just a decision that we chose to make to get on the crazy train.

And, while it’s probably unreasonable to expect that anyone is ever going to be able to be in complete control of their reactions to the storms of this life, I think we could all aspire to being a little less “the struggle is real” and a little more “on the noble path”.

Now, you’ll have to excuse me; my niece just woke up from the nap that she told me that she didn’t need and she fought so hard to avoid.