It occurred to me today that we don’t have any right to expect so much.

I started, yesterday, a post about genies and bottle-rubbing, along with some theological insights, but I wanted to be able to continue some of my thoughts. In case you didn’t read Part 1, it’s HERE.

The gist of the first post was this: if you are wanting someone –in general or in particular– to meet a need that you might have, you are probably more likely to get results in the event that you have an established and healthy relationship with that certain someone –in general or in particular.

But, I’ve got a little more to say than that.

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I’ve noticed, many times when I hear people trying to rub God’s genie-bottle, that they are asking for things that they wouldn’t need, or they wouldn’t even ask for, if their relationship with God was more significant, more healthy.

For example, I’ve heard my fair share of people trying to rub God’s genie-bottle because they need God to get them out of jams that they’ve gotten into, because they aren’t following His rules or His design. I don’t know if that’s how He would do things, but I do know that it’s not how I would do things.

I’m a computer repair guy, among other things, and I know for a fact
–because I’ve done it before– that people who don’t follow the instructions that I have for them in how to use a computer are not at the top of my list of favorite customers. If a computer repair comes across my desk, and the malfunction is a result of someone not doing what I told them to do, not following the instructions properly, that repair goes to the bottom of the list.

While I am sure that God is infinitely greater than I am –infinitely wiser and infinitely kinder and infinitely more forgiving (thanks be to God) and infinitely more compassionate– I often wonder whether or not one’s request for miraculous intervention, in paying the mortgage this month because one has run out of money at the casino, doesn’t end up at the bottom of God’s list.

Or, as another example, I’ve also heard of a number of people rubbing God’s genie-bottle to ask him for things that a person of faith would find of less interest when their relationship with Him is at its strongest. If you think about the things that people are often inclined to ask a genie for, when they stumble across his bottle, they tend to be the kinds of things that people with a strong faith feel like they are already getting from God, when they trust and rely on Him. I truly think that, by and by, people with a more significant relationship with God will come to find that “the things of earth [do] grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace”

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If you’ve ever seen Disney’s Aladdin (the cartoon, not the live action hack job that came out last year or the year before –> don’t even get me started on what a joke it is that Disney is rehashing their old classic movies into live action remakes), I would hope that one of the things that you noticed is that, for the genie, service outside of the context of relationship is just a monotonous bore for him.

But, as Aladdin and the genie develop their friendship during the course of the movie, it becomes easier and easier, it seems, for the genie to do whatever he can to help Aladdin out. Near the end of the movie, when Jafar takes the lamp and becomes the master of the genie, you see the genie’s entire demeanor change. The genie doesn’t appreciate having a new master, after he worked to befriend his former master.

The other part of the story, related to this theme, is the part, earlier in the movie, when Aladdin is forced to make a decision to either honor his promise to release the genie with his final wish, or to use his final wish for himself. Unfortunately, Aladdin betrays his friendship to the genie, intending to use his final wish for his own purposes. Greed: 1 — Honor: 0.

However, before he ever gets the chance to actually commit the betrayal, the plot takes a different course and Aladdin makes it all of the way to the end of the movie before he has to decide whether or not to break his previous promise. The genie, at the end of the movie, actually encourages Aladdin to forget about his promise and to use the final wish for himself. But Aladdin frees the genie and honors their relationship.

Service in the context of relationship can be enjoyable; the reason for this is that we want good things for those that we serve –our friends or our loved ones– because of the relationship. Service without that context can be a drudgery, or worse, a manipulation of a pseudo-relationship to receive service rendered.

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When I think about the Christina Aguilera song that was partially responsible for this extended post that I’ve been putting together, the song is –in a certain way– a love song. When I think of love songs, I think of my wife.

For most adults, living in modern society, the importance of the primary romantic relationship is significant. The relationship that we have with our significant others is one that involves a lot of learning, compassion, and understanding. Forgiveness for our significant others, as they are in a position to hurt us in ways that no one else may be able to, is the penultimate endeavor; the only endeavor more paramount would be their forgiveness of us for the same reasons.

Because our significant others are so central, much of the time, to our happiness, it’s important for us to do our best to serve them –and to serve our relationship with them– so as to avoid giving them reasons to be unhappy. As my post from yesterday illustrated, it’s always better to be on good terms with people if you expect that you are going to be needing or wanting something from them.

Hopefully, however, you and your significant other would eventually get to the point where service and self-sacrifice wouldn’t be a quid pro quo situation where each of the partners are just doing what’s fair, to keep things even –> she made the bed so I’ll do the dishes or he mowed the lawn so I’ll fold the laundry. It should eventually be the case that service becomes what you want to do in order to be a benefit for your partner, whether or not it’s fair.

It’s unhealthy to stay in that place where things stay “only fair”.

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So, genies and bottles and rubbing aside, see what you can do to foster your relationships today by showing people the bonus of your service. You’ll be surprised how far it goes.