Jennie and I spent about a year apart, living in different places –a long-distance relationship– before our wedding. While we were married in May of 2001, Jennie had managed to graduate from Grand Valley State University in the Spring of 2000 with her undergraduate degree, while it took me a little longer. Truth be told, I didn’t graduate until after our wedding, since my student teaching still needed to be done.
She’d entered into the University with her transfer credits from her associate’s degree, in the Fall of 1998, while I entered in with some transfer credits from a certain private school. The humorous part of that was that I ended up having further to go to get a degree in Education, and a Teacher’s Certificate, even though I most certainly transferred in more credits than she did, to start.
No matter.
So, between May of 2000 and May of 2001, I was living in my apartment in Allendale, with my three roommates, and Jennie had moved home, living with her parents in the interim between graduation and our wedding. With all due respect to Tim, Bill, and Rob –my roommates– they were poor substitutes for Jennie.
It was rough, no doubt about it. By that point, we’d been dating
–exclusively– for about five years, and we’d been engaged for a little more than a year when she graduated (for more on the engagement story, you will need to look HERE).
Of course, it’s not that far between our hometown and GVSU, but far enough that visits were difficult. And, cellphone contracts, back in those days, had limits on the number of minutes and the number of texts you could send; it was a different day and age, but we tried to do the best we could. I was working hard on maintaining my college work load, and holding down a part-time job. Jennie was working for the IUSB Office of International Student Services. She was busy during the work week, and so was I. We would try to get together as often as we could on the weekends, but sometimes she was busy, and sometimes I was busy.
It was a dark time for me, without her presence in my life, at least not in the same way as I’d gotten used to having her nearby.
I do remember, one time in particular, when I was able to get to see her in a manner that was a bit of a surprise.
Firstly, I would never be able to get away with this kind of surprise these days, what with GPS and my phone reporting my location to Jennie any time she wants to know. But, back in 2000, I came up with a plan to catch Jennie off-guard with a little trickery.
On the day in question, I skipped my afternoon classes, so that I could have some time to escape Allendale, and head for home. I left for home and made it most of the way before giving her a call.
When I called her, I asked her to go to a favorite park of ours, because I had an idea. I asked her to go to our favorite bench in this favorite park, a bench that overlooked the river running near the park. While we were courting, years earlier, we’d spent many an evening sitting in this particular park, on this particular bench, watching the river and talking; I told her on the phone that evening that I wanted to continue our phone conversation, once she’d arrived at the park.
I told her that my idea was that we would pretend to be together, on the bench, talking to each other, as if we were on a date.
She must have thought that the idea was cute enough to pursue, since she dutifully hung up the phone and headed to the park, and to that special bench in the park.
Meanwhile, I continued my drive toward home, getting closer and closer to that same park, just as she was.
Then, after a few minutes had passed to allow for her to get to the park, she called me back, to let me know that she’d arrived, and that she was in our favorite park and on our favorite bench. The timing could not have worked out much better, for I was just a few minutes away myself.
So, for a little while, we talked about how difficult this time was, for the both of us. We talked about how nice it would be, once the wedding had come. We discussed some of the plans for the wedding, and she filled me in on how her work was treating her. All the while, I was getting closer to the park, then I was arriving at the park, then I was parking my car next to hers in the parking lot, then I was entering the park and crossing the bridge to make it to the section of the park where she was waiting.
And our favorite bench, while it faced the river that we loved to watch so much, it faced away from the entrance of the park and the bridge that I needed to take to get to where she was. As such, I continued to talk to her on the phone, as if I was a hundred miles away, when I was merely a hundred yards away, and getting closer.
So then, this was the moment to deliver my own introduction, as I simultaneously prepared to show up on the scene. I had Jennie imagine what it would be like if we could be together at that very moment. I had Jennie imagine how nice it would be if we could just spend a little time together on this weekday evening. She said that she thought it would be wonderful just to be able to see me, instead of only being able to talk with me on the phone. I took that as my cue.
I took the phone down from my ear, closed the remaining distance between me and her, as she sat on that bench with her phone to her ear. I didn’t want to scare her, so I tried my best to be gentle, as I came up behind her and softly called her name.
“Jennie…”
When she turned around, and saw me standing there behind her, I could see the amazement in her eyes. It’s a look that I hope to remember for as long as I live. The life, the joy in her expression at that moment made the drive there, and later, the drive I would have to make to get back to campus –> her expression made it totally worth any cost.
I came around to the front of the bench, and she stood to hug me and to kiss me, and we held each other like that, in that desperate embrace, for a long moment. After, as we’d had so many times before, we sat together on that bench, and we held hands, and we talked with each other –> just pleased to be in each other’s company.
It Occurred To Me Today 